Half-dead ramblings.

- Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 1:06 AM

This is not so much a blog entry but rather ponderings on the thoughts going through my brain right now. Maybe it’ll seem like a blog, but I thought a page to be more appropriate. If you have an issue with it, then just fucking deal. Note: I’m not actually half-dead; I just feel that way from an extreme lack of sleep this semester.

Due to a recurring case of insomnia (undiagnosed, but there nonetheless), I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately. Some which made me happy, some which left me in a fit of hysterics, some that just pissed me the hell off. But, no matter what the thought process entailed, I have come to realize just how extremely blessed I am. I have never been a woman of Fate or faith or thought much about it other than ignoring gentle yet forced pushes into the direction of religion, but when certain things bring back memories of a truly remarkable Sunday night in the beginning of September, I believe. Not of religion, but that perhaps some things are out of our control, and that even the most insignificant of people and events can change your life.

I will never forget that night, and not just because I wrote a very long entry in my personal journal about it and the events that occurred later – another first. That one night led to the entire shaping of my freshman year of college, and for that, despite what happened in the end, I am eternally grateful. What the kindness of a stranger can do for a lowly college freshman struggling to find her way, trying to find a solid footing without having to fully rely on the stability of the high school friends she came with. Not everybody came to college lucky; some came completely alone, and some were lucky if they could find somebody from their own state.

Nobody really has an idea of what went through my head before that night and how much I needed that. Whether it is to God or the source itself (who now can hypothetically read this), I humble myself with the following:

Thank you.